Does a Separation Save a Marriage? How to Know It Can Save Yours

Since I am a relationship coach, specializing in helping women save their marriage, I am often faced with questions on separation and whether it really helps a relationship. Yes, separation can save a relationship from further damage, and even help repair it.

However you must know whether separation is the correct step for your particular case, and be able to identify when it is a premature decision as well.

Below are some factors that serve as good reason to separate, albeit briefly.

1) Flaring tempers.

If you and your husband get into arguments that are so quick to start that it makes your head spin then it may be good that you spend some time alone to reflect on all that makes you happy or upset. Couples who are in tune with each others’ feelings tend to evaluate their words before saying them for fear of hurting each other.

Taking some time alone will help you get back in touch with your feelings in order to handle them better. Once you are emotionally intact, it will be easier to handle your spouse during an argument. A healthy argument is when one partner remains calm and soothing, and both husband and wife are aware that this single incident will not be the deciding factor for their marriage.

2) Impulsive thinking.

As mentioned earlier, couples in healthy relationships do not rely on the outcome of an argument to decide whether they should remain married or not. If your encounters with your husband result in slamming doors and the sound of the car pulling out from the driveway in haste, then you should take a step back to think about your actions as well as his.

The time alone will help you focus on the bigger picture and your desired outcome for your marriage, and also resolve the best ways to achieve your goals. You will be able to pick the instances that you were quick to speak or react, and mend your ways for the future.

3) Extreme moods.

If your relationship with your husband is constantly switching from being steamy hot to icy cold then it may be time to analyze what you want from your marriage, and what you are getting in return. If you appreciate and value your spouse, then that foundation will remain intact in the biggest of disagreements posed by you or an outside force.

However if you find yourself loving your husband to a point of dependency in one minute, and looking for the nearest exit in another, then you will be doing yourself the biggest favor by stepping back to think what it is you really want, and how can achieve that kind of balance in your marriage.

If you decide to separate, you must truly take out time for yourself to evaluate your standing and your destination for marriage without the influence of talking with friends, family or even your spouse about it. Allow yourself this space and give him the same as well.