Relationship Advice For Muslim Women » Husband

Are You Your Husband'S Biggest Cheerleader?

Fati K — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 19:52:35 +0000

Note: I wrote this post when the Winter Olympics 2010 had started. Canada won 26 medals as a host to the Olympics, of which 14 were gold medals. This is the home-field advantage that I’m talking about for your marriage.

You must be aware of the Winter Olympics that started over the weekend. I saw a few clippings of the inauguration ceremony, and something about the way the Canadian crowd cheered on their team made me draw parallels to a healthy marriage.

Canada has not won any medals in the Winter Olympics for the past two years and their chances of winning this year is heightened by their home advantage, since they are on familiar soil and receiving the greatest amount of cheering and support from their fans.

Are you your husband’s biggest cheerleader? Can he count on you to be his first and most enthusiastic fan, the one who will support him when the odds of social acceptance are against him?

Our Prophet sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam fondly remembered Khadija radhi Allahu anha as the one who believed in him when no one else did, she accepted Islam when people rejected him (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), and she helped and comforted him when there was no one else to lend him a helping hand.

Here’s something for you to start right now: give your husband the home advantage and watch your marriage bloom in your companionship. You are the constant cheerleader, cheering him on towards his purpose. Whenever he feels weighed down by his environment, you are the one he can count on to talk him out of the doldrums.

Be constant in seeking the help of Allah azza wajjal to remain true to your emaan and support your husband by being his biggest cheerleader. This is what it takes to be raised amongst the ranks of Khadija radhi Allahu anha, inshaAllah and it all begins with one step.

The APT Approach : 3 Simple Steps to a Healthy Marriage

Fati K — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 19:56:42 +0000

Alhamdu lillah, the one lesson that sisters are able to pick up on from my webinars is that of the APT approach: to Appreciate, Praise, and Thank your husband, everywhere and everytime.

So what is it about the APT approach that makes me stress it so, just about in every question I am faced with. Surely I’m better equipped as a Relationship Coach to come up with an original answer to each question that sisters ask me.

The truth remains, that the most original and honest thing you can do, in any given situation, is to simply be APT.

Read the complete article here. Remember to give in your feedback!

Charity That Comes Naturally

Fati K — Mon, 29 Mar 2010 21:12:15 +0000

Our Prophet sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam said that a smile is a form of sadaqah (charity). The most natural reaction on a pleasant experience is a form of charity, subhanAllah. Which brings me to the hot question of the day: who gets your smiles?

Do you smile most at the person whom you spend most time with? How about the one you’re committed to spend say… your entire lifetime?

The funky thing about a smile is that it can be heard over the telephone and seen through a niqaab, because a smile from within creeps into your eyes and it’s simply, undeniably there.

Part of being your husband’s Slick Girlfriend is to be his go-to person when he’s feeling low, and your most trusted gadget is your smile. Use it wisely.

The next time you have the feeling that a conversation with your spouse is heading towards an undesirable direction, think whether the outcome will even matter to you a month later, or even a week. Make the choice of being happy, over being right. Smile, and feel the ease in tension bi’thnillah.

Use your smile liberally. It’s just your husband, what have you got to lose, really?

The Prophet sal Allahu alaiyhi wa sallam said, “I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners.”

Have you got the gear to be your husband’s Slick Girlfriend? Get the moves by clicking here.

A Fruitful Experience

Fati K — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 22:45:23 +0000

We spent a day in our local grocery store picking out a piece each of all the fruits we hadn’t eaten before. SubhanAllah, this is one of the fruits that we bore from our adventure. All pun intended.

This is a pataya, also known as dragon fruit. SubhanAllah, judging by the fact that it’s a prickly fruit (from the cactus family), I would’ve never guessed it would look like this, and be so sweet and soft to eat.

Have you eaten every single fruit available in your local grocery store at least once? Then which of the favors of your Rabb will you deny?

The "Undo Send" Option

Fati K — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:23:30 +0000

I’m a huge fan of Google’s email services because of the little tweaks that they have to offer in the, “Labs” section. For example, take the “Undo Send” feature, which gives you a grace period of 2-3 seconds to hit, “Undo” in case you hastily sent an incomplete or incorrect email.

How cool would that be in real life, to have those few seconds to take back what you said, before it actually reaches the addressee?

While reading up for my next webinar I read up an invaluable excerpt that mirrored my personal experiences and also those that I had heard from sisters around me as well: wives usually have two ways to get work out of their husbands, the first step is that of saying it with kindness, of asking with a smile, a please and a thank you. If that doesn’t get the work done then most wives feel vulnerable to say it again with the same amount of warmth, so they resort to speaking roughly or repeatedly until the job gets done. Psst… this is when the wives become the naggers and the husbands, the disgruntled spouses.

Our Prophet Muhammad sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said, “A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west.”

Alhamdu lillah, all of us are innately created with the, “Undo Send” button that Google has just recently replicated in an email service. Our ability to think out our statements, being our own ‘Word Editors’ saves us from a whole lot of trouble for this world and the next.

Maybe nagging will help you get the work done once, twice or even more than that. It’s just that once your husband does something for you, only to have you not tell him again, the weary association that he will have with helping you out will be hard to replace.

What are the ways you can ask your husband to spread out the wet towel to dry? What other ways can you think of, that includes a word of encourage and appreciation for the things he does get right without any prompting?

The APT approach that I mentioned in my, “Own Your Marriage” webinar is a sure-short way of sealing in a good habit, bi’thnillah. Appreciate, praise and thank your husband for all that he gets right and he will want to think up of more ways to get more of where that came from!

I’m going to aim higher than I started out with, I figure I don’t need the, “Undo Send” option if I am my best ‘Word Editor’ inshaAllah.

May Allah instill barakah in all that you do for His sake.