Life Lessons From A Skidding Car
One of my claims to fame is the fact that I can’t aim. At all.
Just the other day I was tossing my phone on the bed and the phone landed on my unassuming husband instead. I watched in horror as the phone (almost in slow motion, does that happen to you?) made its way towards him. Alhamdu lillah he was unfazed by the apparent attack and instead asked me a question that inspired this post.
He asked me, “Were you thinking of not aiming for me when you tossed the phone?”
I was surprised by this question, more so because I was thinking exactly that.
The conversation that followed was of race car drivers.
Did you know that race car drivers are trained particularly in how they handle a skidding car?
What do you think they have to be careful about when their car skids? They must make sure they are looking towards where they want to head, rather than where they don’t.
Let me explain: if the car skids and it’s headed towards a wall, the chances of avoiding the wall are greatest when the driver has eyes on where he wants to steer the car.
If he were to keep looking towards the wall instead, although he may think his efforts are exerted on steering away, his energy and reflexes will be spent on where he is looking and the car will follow.
What does that tell you about the relation between your focus and your energy?
Have you ever come across sisters who say they don’t want to be a particular kind of person and yet, become more and more of that with each passing day? This is because they haven’t decided what they want to be instead.
You may be able to tell me and yourself constantly of what and who you don’t want to be, and in this case, what kind of marriage you don’t want. Just that if the sentence constantly rolling in your head is of the don’ts instead of the dos of marriage, then your energies will be spent (wasted, rather) on what you don’t want, leading you to feel stagnancy in your relationship.
Think of what you want instead, for yourself, your marriage, your deen, your duniya and akhirah. What do you look like? How do you look at those around you? How does your demeanor and language positively affect you and those around you?
Create as vivid a picture of all that you want to be, do and have for yourself and keep that as your focus.
Race car drivers are trained and tested on this, and imagine the amount of damage that would incur if they failed. That’s tangible damage, that you can see and hear, perhaps even feel. Come to think of it, so is yours.
The next time you are telling yourself what you don’t want in terms of a living situation or even a mood, ask yourself what you want instead and keep asking until you get an answer. What you get in a reply, that is your focus and when your energies are spent in attaining that, your outcome will reflect your goals inshaAllah.
Please make du’a for my family with each positive lesson learnt, bi’thnillah.
For those sisters who have the attitude and the focus towards working for all that they want in a marriage, here is a book containing the moves. I’m vouching for it because I have personally acted upon each one of them and alhamdu lillah benefit every day from.
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Fatima Khan is a Certified Life Coach and an NLP Practitioner specialising in Relationship Coaching for Muslim Women. She is energetic and optimistic. Her optimism shines through and enables all around her to develop a stronger outlook on life and their relationships. You should sign up for her weekly newsletter by clicking here.
What is Life Coaching?
The direction that you face determines where you are headed. Your goals define who you are. As comfortable as it may be to take life a day at a time, you will always have the thought at the back of your mind to be more, do more and have more than what you are settling for.
Imagine, FEEL the impact of achieving your goals. Will that put a smile on your face? How will those around you be affected positively by your achievements, insha Allah?
needed this as i have been sulking over how things are not going the way i want them to. obviously i am staring at the wall where i dont want my car to crash.
jazakAllah khair kasirun
Subhanallah!!
We were sharing exactly the same point when while playing Rayman. Focussing on where I want him to reach I’m able to land him better instead of getting scared of the obstacles.
Didn’t think of relating it to practical life
Thanks for elaborating
askm,
. pls pray 4 me
ur blogs r very usefull mshla. m not married yet, but i’ll b soon nshla…i’v seen mny of my frnds really hpy & xited abt their marriages, & wen they get married, they miss their single life. i dont wan2 b 1 of those & thats y i’v signd up 4 mny islamic relationship/marriage, etc. guidance blogs & websites. out of all those, i find urs 2 b the most usefull 1, easy 2 remember . may Allah help me 2 remember the good thing that i learn & apply in my life. jazakallah khair. may allah reward u 4 this in life & aftrlife
Subhanallah…never thought of it that way…
Jazakallah Khair =)
love it! =)
totally relates to our mind only processing positives – ‘not’ aiming at your husband!
Masha Allah.. Wonderful!
How easy it is to look at a situation in the negative. and misunderstand it completely.. yet this little lesson encourages us to look instead at a seemingly negtive situation in a positive way.. and therefore it changes negative thoughts into positive ones insha’Allah
I read recently.. stop trying to make him the best spouse and you work on becoming the best… masha’Allah I love these thoughts … keep them coming sis insha’Allah
May Allah SWT reward and help you .. ameen
A unique way of explaining it all … indeed I aim at what I really dont want to hit … little by little will change that cuz this is what i want to hit
May Allah bless your efforts and bless you and your family best of this world and hereafter ameen
very very true!
thanks for revising this for me though i
knew it theoretically but ill apply it now and
know what i want out of marrige &
everything else inshallah
AS SALAAM O ALAYKUM
The next time you are telling yourself what you don’t want in terms of a living situation or even a mood, ask yourself what you want instead and keep asking until you get an answer.
LOVE THIS!!!! KEEP COMING
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Wonderful insight:-)
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Jazakallah for this inspiring post! Think of where you want to go not where you dont want to end up! great reminder!
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