Archive for April, 2010

Of Gifts and Grace

Our Prophet, sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam told us to,”Give gifts to one another, for gifts take away rancour.”

In another account, we learn that he, sal Allahu alayhi wa salla used to accept a gift and give compensation for it (Bukhari).

A gift is literally anything a person gives without expecting a payment or return. In a marriage it could be turning the kettle on in the morning without being asked, unloading the dishwasher or dryer, or even tidying up before going to bed. All these are gifts, and to follow the sunnah would mean to reciprocate each gesture.

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Touch and Touché : How Physical Touch Affects a Marriage

You must have experienced it to some degree in your marriage. I’ve heard some women jokingly call it the Cold War, since the couple shares long, steady periods of silence amongst themselves, all the time building up on ammunition to strike next, at the best given time.

The most fatalistic aspect of such a situation is the language used, starting from the name. What you say is what you get: so the chances of running into a pleasant situation increase when you call it the spring of romance instead of the Cold War. The outcome is equally predictable: there is no meltdown until one party gives in to a smug spouse, who takes his / her sweet time to respond.

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Life Lessons From a Skidding Car

One of my claims to fame is the fact that I can’t aim. At all.

Just the other day I was tossing my phone on the bed and the phone landed on my unassuming husband instead. I watched in horror as the phone (almost in slow motion, does that happen to you?) made its way towards him. Alhamdu lillah he was unfazed by the apparent attack and instead asked me a question that inspired this post.

He asked me, “Were you thinking of not aiming for me when you tossed the phone?”

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LifePepper and MBMuslima

Alhamdu lillah, Sr Yasmeen from MBMuslima Magazine interviewed me recently and my interview is published in the April / May issue of MBMuslima Magazine!

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Dial 1-800-Wifey

A sister asked me just how you can be your husband’s girlfriend with, ‘no strings attached’ when getting married is exactly that: with strings attached.

The answer lies in giving your husband what you would like most: a best friend rolled into a spouse. His exclusive lifetime membership to the best customer service, ever.

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Are You Your Husband'S Biggest Cheerleader?

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The APT Approach : 3 Simple Steps to a Healthy Marriage

Alhamdu lillah, the one lesson that sisters are able to pick up on from my webinars is that of the APT approach: to Appreciate, Praise, and Thank your husband, everywhere and everytime.

So what is it about the APT approach that makes me stress it so, just about in every question I am faced with. Surely I’m better equipped as a Relationship Coach to come up with an original answer to each question that sisters ask me.

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Have You Got a Prayer?

If Allah helps you, none can overcome you: If He forsakes you, who is there, after that, that can help you? in Allah, then, Let believers put their trust.” (Surah Al-Imran 3:160)

The key to mastering your relationship is to think, act, walk and speak like the wife who has it all, already. Everything about you illustrates the trust you have in your desired outcome and your ability to achieve it, inshaAllah.

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